Crush....

*Author's note: Yeah, it's a stupid poem, about a stupid crush, but I think it's okay.*

It doesn't yet show,
But on the inside, I am
Crying. Mourning over the
Loss of someone before I ever had them.

It began, this stupid
Crush of absolute folly,
With me watching him
From afar. Isolated in my "new-girl" role.

As I acclimated to the surroundings,
My heard soared as I came across
The opportunity to converse and
Interact with said crush.

But, alas, he told me that
My bubbly, always-kind-to-everyone
Nature made him nervous.
So, I had to back away.

There are so many questions I
Yearn to ask him, so many
Stories unique to my desired one
That I wish to hear, and it hurts.

Hurts because when I am
Around him, I have to be quiet,
For fear of scaring him off.
(You see, I cherish each inconsequential moment.)

My heart flutters each time
That he speaks to me, only
For me to hang my head in shame,
Because he's wishing for me to go away or give him paper.

There have been times, though,
Few and far between, in which,
Miraculously, us two are sitting together,
Silently writing, writing, writing.\

And now, inside I cry, because
I turn around, and there he is,
Smiling and talking and laughing with
Another nice girl, and I can't get through.

Fuck! I first and foremost wish
To be friends with the boy, yet
 I can't seem to even make him
Smile like others do....

My crush on him, well, that
Simply makes my failure feel
All the more tragic. So I sit,
Write this poem, cry, grieve, and will eventually move on.