Raindrops

Awaking to the patter of raindrops on the roof

Head smashed in from that Jameson 40 proof

I rush around the sleepy town for a place to pee

As I contemplate my life and why I can’t hang free

I sat all night at a tiny party

The company was jovial, laughs hearty

I could not seem to crack a smile

I just coped, feeling anxious all the while

Perchance it’s just depression

I hope I didn’t pass off the impression

Of superiority or a lack of interest

I hope I can still make friends even though I’m distant

So oft I feel bereft of life

In this world so grey and full of strife

But we desperately need to be charged, with joy

So that we can rise up and make oppressors our toy

But my candle-flame still flickers

As I watch others fill with liquors

I contemplate my existence

And plan how to do resistance.

But will any of it come to fruition?

I feel like I’m in constant addition

Of projects, dreams, goals, desires

How will I ever be all that I aspire?

And what of the wounds of the heart?

How and when will the healing start?

It’s causing me to get more and more bitter

But I must press forward… am I a quitter?

But on rainy deluge days like these,

I’ve got to stay distracted and appease

Whatever deamon makes me feel less worthwhile

Than all this capitalist shit in a pile.

I close my eyes and resist the urge to pray

For not another long drawn out day

For the period of never-ending sleep

So that I might not have to wake and weep.